Lantar lassi súrinen...

It feels rather sacrilegious to use words so poetic as means of titling so trite of a blog entry. They do, however, express my mood and perception of how things are going, also serving as a thin and weightless, but tangible strand of a web that connects me to the world where I go to find wisdom, courage and inspiration when I need it. And I currently need it.

I am having a really hard time staying afloat with classes right now (told ya it was going to be about boring things no one cares about!). My project group is having an issue with a member where said member is basically... absent. I don't mind doing extra work, not at all, but I have to plan for it instead of being stuck with the extra work at the last minute because, surprise surprise, I have other things going on. The third person in the group is also very busy and he is also having an issue with a partner in another class. We both sure did get lucky this quarter :/ Oh well. The only really bad thing is that I think I'm catching whatever seems to be going around. Feeling tired and throat is kind of sore. NO NO NO BAD BAD BAD WRONG TIME. Also, I really hate UW's quarter system sometimes. Why can't it be semesters? True, I love having quarters for some classes, but any class that involves projects that require tons of independent research and work--nope, quarters just don't work.

Must not get stressed too much... It will be over soon.

As some dude by the name of Seneca said, "Crudelius est quam mori semper timere mortem." I should be less cruel to myself and stop being so afraid of bad things, it really is the worst, this fear. Yes, thanks to bad luck I won't get a perfect 4.0 in either of my classes this quarter, but really, I have a near 4.0 cumulative GPA, at this point it's not really a big deal if I don't achieve my self-imposed goal of 3.8+ for every class, which I have achieved for most classes so far. I should start letting it go already, nothing good will come out of stressing too much right now. I must grow up and learn to deal with failure and rejection, fear of which have kept me from being happier than I probably should be given all the fortune and privilege I have in my life.

On an unrelated topic, days are still getting longer and many trees are still in spring bloom, or already have their summer blossoms. It rained this evening and the rain was peaceful. I wish I had a bay window so I could keep my reading chair there, and read surrounded by the outdoors without actually getting wet or cold. I think I need to bike more in the evenings, it clears my head better than running does and I get to go farther and see more.

I hope you are enjoying the season and life in general, whoever happens to stumble upon this. Life is hard, but it is worth the effort. Never give up.

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