Random assortment of items

Blah blah blah long time no post blah.

The time has come for a change. A big one. I've decided to finally learn how to drive *and* get a license. Lucky for me, six years ago my grandpa spent a month teaching me how to drive his car, he was shocked that I didn't know how to drive :-( It was a stick shift that was brought back from the dead through his magical mechanic skills, the car was totaled by my dad many years prior. Maybe I still remember something. Brian is a very good, careful driver and he's a good instructor, and the car is also a stick shift. I just think it's a good idea to know how to drive a car even though I don't expect to be driving it often, bus+feet+bike suffice to get me around.

Also need to decide if I want to apply for US citizenship in the near future. Looks like my parents and brother will be applying soon, we were eligible starting last year or something like that. Eh, the only possible benefit I see is of the financial kind, green card renewal now costs a whole lot more than it used to. Which makes the paranoid X-Files-loving part of my brain wonder if there's a reason that the state would rather I become a citizen than continue being a green card holder by giving this financial incentive. By the time someone's green card expires they are usually eligible to apply for a US citizenship. I don't want to sound like an Alex Jones fan type person, but it's just a bit odd. Besides saving money, there's not really any reason for me to apply. It seems like this is a decision that should be backed by more than just simple financial considerations.

My health has been on a downturn since May, again, just like last year. I know that it's a long road ahead to getting well for real, but I just can't shake off this feeling of questioning the worth of the efforts. How emo. I try to stay positive in front of other people, and avoid all their questions about how I'm doing altogether. I don't want pity. I don't even want compassion. It bothers me when people say I'm "brave" and whatnot. There is no bravery involved, just a basic survival instinct my ancestors carried out of the primordial soup. Part of the protective survival mode appears to be the elimination of desire to engage in anything that is stressful for me, the biggest of which is being around other people. The downside of finally embracing my loner nature appears to be the desire to indulge it. In a world where I need other people to get things done this is a problem. Well, I am forever lucky to have a partner who is also a loner, we can be alone together, and there is happiness and love. Our three year wedding anniversary is coming up in just a couple months, hard to believe it.

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